Stand up act part 1

You can’t escape the internet these days.  First it was on computers and everyone was like “yeah free porn.” Then it was on cell phones and everyone was like “now I can keep up with my friends.” Now it’s on these rectangles and everybody watches videos of cats making weird sounds in a card board box.  The most baffling part about this whole evolution is that people insist it has made their lives easier.

Now I know one group has benefited greatly from this whole internet thing the TV people…not the ones form poltergeist either just people who work for TV networks, primarily the news oriented ones.  Now refutable, and I use that term loosely, news agencies just pull stuff off the internet and don’t even attempt to hide it, they just justify it by calling it local reporting. 

What weird backwards era do we live in when CNN can steal footage form a 15-year-olds facebook page and pass it off as a world shaping event.  And to top it all off once they peddle this shit back to the very masses they scavenged it from, they ask you to go back on to your little social networking site and like them or Friend them.  Like a sad little kid on a middle school playground who will give you any of his toys or do your homework as long as you say “come on were friends right? You would do it for a friend?” then you don’t even bother to go to his birthday party a month later.

But it doesn’t matter because let’s face it you have nothing better to do, so you log on and share the link to the link to the link with your three real friends and the other 64 jackasses you haven’t spoken with since high school.  But now you can look like you care because you posted the link to a video about war in Africa.  But then the whole thing back fires when one of your knowledgeable friends posts a link to an article that states that war in Africa is propagated by companies that sap resources form African nations to make computers and cell phones.  And as they sit there on your new mac you realize that you don’t give a flying funk about Africa.

Social networking is something I still have a lot o trouble caring about.  Keeping up with friends is nice… sometimes.  But now all of these sites are saturated by marketing and adds.  Don’t get me wrong I’ll drop by Taco Bell from time to time, but I can’t see myself friending a multinational corporation on facebook, I mean I don’t even know what they’re doing down in Mexico.

Then there is Twitter Which is definitely the worst of these so called societies.  Because it’s so pointless.  What can you say in two sentences that is worth sharing with the world.  Even Einstein who could explain his theory of relativity to an 8-year-old would struggle to describe what he had for lunch in two sentences.

When I was in the navy they had a security campaign that said “loose tweets sink fleets.” First of all a loose tweet sounds like something an align prostitute would suffer from.  Secondly it was a derived from the old WWII “lose lips sink ships” campaign.  And when I say derived from I really mean they just weren’t original enough to make up anything new.